Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Cancer~My beginning

January 27, 2016

Now I am 64 and maybe smarter than I was at 20, at lest that is what my story is and I am sticking to it!  My blog is taking a turn, new things are going to be added and I am going to try and get this out once a week.  I am just so tired, all I want to do is sleep.

I am finally done with the first round of tests, we know what we are looking at, and it is not a good thing.  At first, even now, I have days that everything seems so unreal.  Maybe when I wake up, this all will have been a nightmare and we can have a great laugh together.  But, I am awake and it is still here doing its damage and reality bites. This is NOT how I had planned my "golden years".

I have liver cancer, several tumors in my liver, multiple small superior mediastinal and infraclavicular
nodes without increased uptake, abnormal uptake in the anterior diaphragmatic nodes, hepatocellular carcinoma, mediastinal lymph nodes suspicious for metastases, uncertain origin, extensive bulky lymphadenopathy in the porta hepatis and portal caval regions as well as surrounding the celiac axis and peripancreatic in location  lymphadenopathy.  Lots of big words, had to look up a lot of them, but the bottom line is I am filled with cancer.

They can not cure me, but they have me on a medication that is suppose to stop the growth and hopefully keep new ones popping up. The medication is rough, a lot like the Hep C treatment I took,my education nurse told me it is chemotherapy, so here I go again.

There is suppose to be hair loss in clumps, okay can you see me, clumps gone and the ones left dyed different colors and sticking up? Fatigue that nothing helps, losing my desire to eat, throwing up more, something called HFSR, hand-foot skin reaction and more side effects.  Rough going here.

I will give you some idea's for Eating Right, Relaxation, Exercise, Laughing(yes,some people need to learn that skill) Staying Positive

A player on the Rams, Eric Dickson, asked Walter Payton from the Chicago Bears, "Are you scared?"  Walter Payton said, "Yes, I am, I have never died before".  Walter Payton lived in Reality, facing his cancer head on, with laughter, strength and love.  I want to be like him and the crowd of people who have cancer.